wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
