So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Randomize
