end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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