Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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