bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize