Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
