Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
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