Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize