I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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