dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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