Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
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i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
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I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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