this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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