We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
