God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
