Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
She needs sedatives and a leash
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Randomize
