Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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