i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
