that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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