Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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