God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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