Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize