apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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