He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
that's an acceptable place to lick
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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