We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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