Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
40s are totally the cure
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
