at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
