i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
