so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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