a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize