Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
