how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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