there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
foreskin is a definite game changer
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
