I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
