bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
foreskin is a definite game changer
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
