Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize