She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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