I must be too annoying 4 u.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
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Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
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We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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