my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
