Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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