how can u be prego again
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
