Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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