Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.