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go do what you do best...puke behind churches
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
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