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• (207): View more from Maine

  I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  this is a time for prayers...seriously

  (1-973): View more from New Jersey

  let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me

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• (662): View more from Mississippi

  The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (406): View more from Montana

  bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff

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• (562): View more from California

  I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".

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