Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
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