i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
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when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
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Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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