forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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