I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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