After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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