You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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