I am puke
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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