Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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