Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
