I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
