This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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