Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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