My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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