He asked to "fluff my boner.."
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
