wat bout pragnant strippers??
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
mondays should just be called national damage control day
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
