Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
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