I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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