What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
