I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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