Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
