And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Randomize
