No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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